5/birdseye-view

sometimes it’s in the music. sometimes the music’s in it.                                                                              either way there’s always music and always a moment that is, or could have been or should be or decided to become…    there will always be another way for us to choose, always. how do you escape the idea that maybe we make decisions based on what we think we should decide?                                                                             i try to make lists in my head. i make a list about my good decisions to see if anything bad came from them. then i make a list of bad decisions to see if anything good came from them. this task has made so many engaging ideas even more compelling.                            perception truly is everything.                                     the result is…. no decision is either good or evil, it’s just the right decision in that moment.

i enjoy theses thoughts more now that i’m older. i can choose to remove myself from any familiar attachment to any of these sentiments and coast, completely unaffected. when i was younger these ideas sent me into the idea of panic attacks.

 

i talked to my Mom

i actually got some sleep (now i can’t again)

i got concert tickets in the mail

my sister called

i made a kick-ass ‘mixed tape again

5 Good Things

During a moment after expectation had become irrelevant….. i saw hope. I witnessed the gap between all thoughts and limits on a day like the rest. No thoughts. Stillness. No wants or expectations or preconceived ideas of what should come. In the moment. I found the gap the same time I found a prime rib sandwich.      It wasn’t overwhelming and I wasn’t blown away but I was in fact- in the gap. (Thank you) Looking back it’s heartwarming how completely in that moment I was. Looking back I am blown away. How is it even possible to be one way this moment and fully another way the next? It seems to me I like this instant delivery of our realizations is the more memorable way to conduct  business.   Not only does this restrict the overwhelming ache of anticipation of things to come but it teaches us to be direct and to go with the gut and completely be in the moment.                                         

it snowed today.

i saved a house plant.

i expressed my frustration in a productive way.

i created the 3rd place.

i made an awesome “mixedtape”