Can men and women be just friends?
That’s the question. It’s something I’ve never thought about until recently. I was never aware that there are boundaries. I always assumed that friends are friends no matter what their Facebook status was. Now I’m finding more often that the people I meet and actually like as human beings are either married or ‘in a relationship’.So good for them! So can men and women actually have a friendship without strings, sexual tension or even the worry that it may become complicated? I have many married friends. Some will get a Christmas card and some will not, but the reality is they are friends. I’ve started to look back at my behaviour and I couldn’t see the lines and now I’m beginning to. Part of me resents the idea that there are boundaries. I mean if your taken, cool. I’m not there for anything more than friendly banter and the hope that if I’m in trouble and I call they will be there. That’s what friends do right? So coming from a head space where being married is the FARTHEST thing from my mind and is not a part of my agenda. Nor is a relationship why do I feel like I’m doing something bad when I hang out with friends that are married? Having said that I do have single friends that someday I’d consider maybe dating but not until they either get a clue or have another birthday.
This sounds like I’m sad or desperate. I’m not. I value the friendships that I’ve made over the years and will continue to take care of them. I guess the theme of this then becomes more about avoidance than about friendship. (that’s kinda pathetic considering my 1st post was titled “the Benefit of Avoidance”) So I’m back at procrastination.
The answer is an obvious No.
Duder….
For one thing, the answer is an obvious no. But then again, what about the co-ed friendships in which sexual tension is not an issue (ie. Non-existant)? In my beliefs, what results is a tet-a-tet of mind fucking.
So…in the end, you are still fucking each other, without even knowing it.
Untill one of the two figures that out, and then someone has the upper hand…and well, upper hands and relationships don’t go over so well as they do in a game of poker.
Ps. Add me to your blogroll yo.
Sorry y’all….I disagree. Maybe it’s because I’m no macho ‘manly’ man, maybe I’m a crush whore, maybe I’m afraid of commitment, but all but one of my closest friends are women. Most, have had moments of ‘confusion’ but if the connection’s worth it, you make it past all that, and I think (hope) the friendship is stronger for it.
Is it the same as other friendships/ relationships…no. And that’s a good thing. Like any relationship, it takes work, if it’s not worth it, you don’t do the work, and focus on the problems. Problems are only problems if you let them have power over you.
Amy, I think you hit a nerve. These are long responses you got here. Maybe you should start writing ‘dear abby’ type columns
I do enjoy the discussion about men and women and relationships, but what I really want to hear are some of your Nirvana stories!
I am with sanityisinsane, friends can be just friends. Also music guru. I posted about you.
-Voyno
i just noticed this message… dude in order to hear nirvana stories we need to be stoned or drunk or on acid. perhaps a combo. maybe i should get stoned and post something.